If someone had walked into my home yesterday, she would have said, “Only in New York!”
In a Muslim home, with Quranic calligraphy gracing the walls, a Jewish woman says the Hanukah prayer over the menorah and candles, while the soft sounds of Silent Night, Holy Night play from the replica of Nativity Scene, and the ladies munch over Santa chocolates wrapped in red and silver wrappers.
We are the Daughters of Abraham in Dialogue, a group of 20 or so Jewish, Christian and Muslim women who convene monthly in the intimacy of our cozy apartments—this is NYC-no sprawling homes here—and we just talk. But its more structured than it sounds. There is a theme to each meeting, a topic of sorts where each faith group contributes to the discussion. If you want to take a guess on our first topic, you will probably be right. Women. Where does scripture intersect with tradition, and what practices are more an outcome of culture vs. scripture? Two hours into the discussion and we were still not done. It took another meeting to get through ‘all we ever wanted to know about women…..’ marriage, education, employment, spiritual leadership, hijab…we covered it all.
It Didn’t Go According to Plan
It all started after I had given a book talk to The Transition Network (TTN), a group of 55+ women. A few weeks later, one of the members reached out saying that I had talked about the power of interfaith dialogue, and what if we held a one-time interfaith dialogue with TTN and a group of Muslim women. I was game. What I hadn’t realized was how well organized the TTN ladies were. They brought in a facilitator who helped plan the focus and format of the discussion. When I walked into the host’s home, they had set up flip charts, three rooms assigned for break-out groups—the whole nine yards. We must have been about 20 women and you could feel the excitement.
It didn’t go according to plan.
The plan was that we would start by asking three questions as icebreakers, get the discussion going, and then break into small group. Ten minutes into the dialogue, someone passed me a note. It was from the facilitator. “This is going very well. No need for break-out groups. Agree?” I looked across the room, locked eyes, and nodded. She was right. This was going really well—just keep it going.
The other part of the plan was that this was going to be a one-time meeting. Well, that did not go as planned either.
“We want more. One meeting isn’t enough,” women were saying.
“Let’s make this an ongoing thing.”
“Let’s call ourselves ‘Daughters of Abraham in Dialogue’”.
And so it was decreed, and so it was done.
I Had No Idea!
That was three years ago. Sometimes our topics are around religious events like Easter, Passover, Ramadan; sometimes around a practice, e.g. pilgrimages; issues confronting us all e.g. microaggression; or scriptural readings. You bet there are moments of I had no idea! Or, Aren’t we all the same!
I had no idea that Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer—a song I have been listening to since I was a little girl—was really about bullying. I guess I did know that but didn’t quite put it into that context. I learnt that the term Nativity means ‘birth.’ How about this: the Immaculate Conception is not about Virgin Mary conceiving Jesus, but about the conception of the Virgin Mary, free from the original sin. Surprised, right! Not many of us knew the rich history of Hanukah, and how a holiday commemorating Jewish history, became a major holiday in America. Nor that the story of Jesus’ birth is narrated in detail in the Quran in the chapter of Mary—the annunciation, her reaction, labor pains, her fears at facing her people, the baby speaking from the cradle. Or that the commercialization of Christmas dates back to the 19th century.
I Want to be Jewish
Listening to the Hanukah tradition, that children get a gift every day for 8 days, one of the Muslim women said, “One day my son came home from school and said, ‘Mom, I want to become Jewish. You see, on Eid, we get only one gift, but during Hanukah, children get a gift every day for 8 days.”
These ladies have brought joy into our homes and our lives. Yes, we have learned about one another’s faith, but more so, we have learned to respect one another’s faith; we are sensitive to each other’s sensitivities; and we have made our time together a time for celebrating and rejoicing. Did I mention food? Last night, one of the ladies brought Italian Christmas fig-cookies. They are made only around Christmas time, and boy are they delicious!
May we have many more (not just the cookies).
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