“How old are you?”
If you ask a Pakistani this question, he or she is likely to stumble. He is not likely to say, “Biological age or official age?” But that is what he is pondering.
His answer will depend on who is asking. If it’s a doctor, he is likely to tell his biological age for obvious reasons. But if the Social Security Administration is asking, he will offer his official date of birth. And if he has multiple official dates of births, he is likely to choose the date on his passport.
Are you wondering, ‘What on earth is she talking about?’
Let me explain.
When Pakistan was newly formed in 1947, there was no system of issuing birth certificates. Babies were born at home, and there was no requirement to register the birth. That was the case even after city folk transitioned from birth-at-home to hospitals. No birth certificates, period; not when I was growing up in the 1950s, not in the 60s, and not when I got married in the early 70s.
Shall we start from the beginning?
A baby is born on July 30, 1956. Let’s call him Karim. When he turns five, Mom and Dad take the him to school, fill out the admissions form, and put down the date of birth.
A few years later, Karim’s family moves to another town. His uncle takes him to school to get enrolled (Dad is at work and mom is sick). As he completes the admissions form and gets to the date of birth, he pauses.
Hmmm! I recall he was born in 1956, and I believe it was the middle of summer. Let me put down August 1, 1956.
Actually, he puts down 1/8/56. In Pakistan, dates are listed the British way: dd/mm/yy
As Karim enters high school, Dad realizes that it would be better to have him listed a year or two younger, so he puts down July 30, 1954 or rather 30/7/54. Now Karim is officially two years younger than his biological age.
Why does Dad do that?
Because in Pakistan, there is an age limit for entrance to college, as well as for certain choice career opportunities. To keep the door open, parents change the year of birth. And since there is no official birth record, there is no cross-check.
Now, children like to grow up quickly, as in ‘I turned 12. I am a big boy.’ So the next time Karim changes school and his mom lists his date of birth making him younger, he wails.
“But I am 12, not 10.”
“Shhhh!”
Poor Karim. That doesn’t stop him from telling his friends, “I am older than you. I am 12.”
Then one day Karim grows up, gets married, and comes to the United States. His passport lists his official date, which over the years had grown to make him five years younger. The passport date is etched in stone and there is no getting around it.
“You are rather young to be engineer,” his prospective boss says to him in a job interview.
Karim gulps, coughs, and says nothing.
Once he and his wife are settled in their new land, new home and new marriage, he says to her one day, “Honey, I have a confession to make.”
Uh oh! Is he having an affair?
“You see, the thing is, ahem …I am not the man you married.”
“Go on.”
“I am actually…well the thing is…I am a lot older than you think.”
Phew.
“I am 30, not 25. My parents lied about my date of birth.”
She bursts out laughing.
“In that case, I too have a confession to make. You married an older woman.”
Ask me, “Sabeeha, how old are you?”
Order here:
At a bookstore near you
and
Amazon (hard cover) Amazon (Kindle)
Barnes & Noble Bookshop.org
Indiebound Books-a-Million
Order from:
A bookstore near you
and
Amazon (hardcover) Amazon (Kindle) Bookshop.org Barnes & Noble Indiebound
Books-A-Million Target.com Walmart.com
Order here on Amazon for your:
Paperback
Kindle
Hardcover
Audio, narrated by Yours Truly
Or look for it on the shelf of your neighborhood bookstore.
As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases